BitterSweet Fathers Day

It was a very bittersweet fathers day for my husband.
His father passed away on June 5th, after spending nearly 6 weeks in the hospital.

The passing was all to surreal.

I feel for my husband. there was no closure....
we got the call at 10:29 that he was not doing well..we had even talked to them just at 10..the nurses that is.
when they called we rushed up to the hospital, I got pulled over even. i wanted to make it there.

I ran in, took the staff elevator even, I did not care.
ran into the room with people telling I could not go in there.
I knew something was not right when there was not a neighboring patient, there was not monitors hooked up to him, he was covered, mouth open and eyes closed...

I held his hand, it even felt liked he was gripping it....I could have sworn I saw his chest moving......I put my ear to his chest...no signs of life.......


Michael had not yet made it in, he was the nurses station, and asked how is my pop..I ran out and said..he is dead.

we hung out in the room, the priest came..we said prayers.....

having kids does not make you an adult, taking care of a dying parent does.
it has been hard...there is so much more...but out of the 6 weeks, he only spent 4 official days in rehab. after checking in, then fell out of bed had bleeding on the brain and rushed to 2 diff hospitals, was released on a Tuesday, then on Friday again rushed to hospital because oxygen levels were low and he was lethargic,
90 percent of the time in the past 6 weeks he was not with it...calling out to dead relatives that have been dead for years.....

this is so hard for my husband...his dad never let him know that he loved him, or was proud of him.


seb bit nurses, punched..for being so sick he was so strong.

Seb was terribly mean to Michael....for years...but even in the hospital in his half coherent mind, he was just mean. seb asked a nurse, are you a praying person..the nurse said yes, then he points to Michael and says pray that he gets punished.


Mike has a cyst on his head....seb asks him, what is on your forehead....A HORN GROWING..????

I mean, we knew it was a matter of time before he died. I remember the weekend before we checked sebastian in, he fell in our house, had an accident on the floor, hubby even had to bathe him he had not had a shower in months...I told Michael then, I think your dad only has 2 months to live. If we did not insist on checking him into the er, I really think within days he would have been dead in his home. I told Michael, you have to make him go the ER, you know how much guilt you would feel for years to come if you did not.....


on the 25th of this month he would have been 75.


It is just sad.
please pray that I have strength for my husband....and that we have wisdom on to know what to do....

Life Happens & So Does Death

This is a really weird time for our family right now.
My father in law is kinda touch and go.
With Congestive Heart Failure and Kidney failure.

for a few days he did not know anything and calling out to his sisters that have been dead for years, and his mom. when he sees me he calls me Betty, which is deceased wife.

My husband felt the brunt of it. His father was saying nasty vile things to him. All though I think he did not understand he was talking to his son because he kept on calling him a different name.

Nurses have been bitten, and he needs constant attention with someone at his side to keep him from pulling his cathater out.

we are visiting as much as possible and trying to understand this all. We now have had a crash course between assisted living, skilled nursing, and nursing home.

........
but for now hospital is a home.
Heidi