**Breathing**

If you know me I have habits of going in "hiding" mode, I often do this when times are tough..I crawl under a rock and hide until I feel like I can face the world again or more importantly when I use the strength God has placed in me to move forward.

The truth is God has instilled that strength in me (and you!) to face and do anything. and it is OUR responsibility to do it!

For me it is my "thought process" that keeps me isolated. I let circumstances steal my JOY. The fact is that it is not our circumstances that make us unhappy, it our attitude toward our circumtaces ( a very wonderful quote from Joyce Meyers)

So, Last night I sat down to read the new issue of Enjoying Everyday Life by Joyce Meyers Ministries and WOW!

Very little of you know (maybe like 5 people knew...) I have not been to church since October. My life really got turned upside down when my Grandma came to live with us, then there was hurt feelings I had between some people at church. I plan just stop going. I had revealed to a certain "cyber friends" that I had not been and one of the best pieces of advice I received is "if you are not getting fed you need to forge for yourself" Good advice indeed.I thought to myself and told God "as soon as hubby starts his new job things will be back to normal" .Hubby then shortly after started a new job, he had left his old job he had for 6 years. The new job was the highest paying job he had ever had, I had hope in paying all of our bills in time, buying things just because we could.....and most important, helping others in their time of need**sigh**
2 weeks into the intense training there was a couple of ice storms..hubby made it to work and left extra early (the new job was nearly 2 hours away in rush hour!) Still excited about the new income I saw a whole new world of possibilities opening up. A bigger house finally!
On Friday still being very excited about just doing more then treading water in our lives, I said to my self "This is our way out" Then I heard in my Spirit God telling me, "This is not your source, I am your source"

That was on Friday, the weekend came and went, then it was Monday. Hubby again went to his new job that I felt was our way out of our circumstance..then he came home and he was running late..he conveyed to me that he lost the New Job..He was in the bottom of his training class. The New job that would allow us to pay our bills on time, the new job just to buy things in life we needed, the new job to let us finally move.......

Fast forward to now..(3 weeks after hubby been let go from his new job) Well, it has been a stupor for me. He went back to the "old" job..the one he had been at for 6 years, but training does not start until April 7th. So he has been home this whole time.
But YESTERDAY was a new day..As is everyday..But yesterday I decided to read the new issue of "Enjoying Everyday life" And the whole issue basically is on our Thought process and Depression. There are several good articles in this issue that I highly suggest reading, and not because I am "preaching" but because it changed my thinking and heart. These are things I have heard before, but for whatever reason, probably because my spirit needed it so much it just hit home.

This may seem obvious but " be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind " Ephesians 4:23. I am not saying "obvious" to be Mrs. Smarty pants but because In Romans 12:2, the Bible tells us to renew our mind. Now renewing our mind is a continual process. To renew something and to keep it renewed is a constant, ongoing process. It’s like buying a new house. If you and I never do anything to keep it up, it won’t be long until it will be a pile of junk. Or, if we buy a new car that looks really good when we bring it home but don’t take care of it, it will become a dirty mess, full of all kinds of trash.

There is also a great article about a "can do attitude" that is just amazing and I shared with my best friend who later in the part of the day when I was feeling "tired" Reminded of what I read to her and said "what did I, Joyce and you talk about earlier??" This is so worth reading and will help discern from "dreamer" to "achiever" attitude

there was an awesome article on depression....on "how you think may be affecting the way your body feels"
Another one entitled "Change your Thinking, Change your life...." Plus so much more.
Before I close out this post, I just want to share a couple more key points that hit home with me.
I would like to say first off that I a year ago I was a different person in my walk. I was ready to just drop everything and go to Africa on missions or go to Bible college...then my life got turned upside down and I lost track. God still has plans for our lives even though we detour..there is UNFAIR circumstances in our lives BUT GOD IS VERY FAIR.
A year ago I had a "blind faith" you can say..and it was not denial. I had no way of describing it so perfectly until I read this phrase " Positive thinking isn't denial; it's the accurate realization that we don't know everything and therefore, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE..."
So starting now, I will no longer limit myself to what I think, God is so much bigger then what you or I can think with
heartfelt regards,
Heidi
http://www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistries/Magazine/0804/April+2008+Home.htm

Going Gets Tuff...Tuff Get Smoking..

It has been tuff, so I cleared out my freezer and smoked everything...

>